A mother is no doubt the most concerned person about her child. However, sometimes that concern becomes too overbearing and overwhelming. The mother controls the child so much that he or she loses individuality. They are simply seen as an extension of their mom. The extent to which the mother loves the child depends on how far her expectations are met by the child.
Some mothers make their child a scapegoat of their needs and wishes. The mom may either be too afraid of the future or wants to get all attention for herself through her children. This type of childhood affects the future relationships built by a person. They become very anxious, fearful or dismissive.
Such children are not able to manage their feelings and easily succumb to stress. They do not have a clear ambition. When these children become parents they display a similar behavior and always expect something in return for their love. They are affected by failure instantly and cannot pick up the strings after a defeat. They start feeling useless without the controller.
Hence, mothers should give a free rein to their children as far as possible and not spoon feed them. Every child is a unique individual and not a trophy to be displayed. Do not spare the rod and spoil the child but at the same time remember that too much of nectar will also lead to diabetes.
Exercise control at the optimal level so that both you and your child are not off balance.
There are some remedial measures and basic parenting tips which can have a long term impact on the parent – child relationship in a positive way.
They are as follows:
1. Make your child feel successful…appreciate your child no matter how small the achievement. Empathize and think from your child’s perspective.
2. Do not make love a return gift for success or achievement. Love your child unconditionally. Make it clear that you will support them to the end in all their endeavors.
3. Do not get angry with your children. Be calm and compassionate with them, so that they will be frank and honest with you. They will feel comfortable discussing any topic with you. They will not hide anything from you.
4. Instill confidence in them and do not thrust your opinions on them. Let them decide and make self analysis. Let them make mistakes and learn from them. It is human nature to err. Your children are not mechanical robots to do everything as programmed without any deviation. Give them space.
5. Apologize to your children when necessary. It helps to create a better bond with your little one.