We’ve been told it can make us go blind, or we can get acne, or decrease our virility. Masturbation itself is a taboo topic, surrounded by myths and guilt.

What is masturbation? As Wikipedia defines, Masturbation is the sexual stimulation of one’s own genitals for sexual arousal or other sexual pleasure, usually to the point of orgasm.

Masturbation is fine when it’s for the purposes of male titillation. A female’s desire makes us uncomfortable. It is looked upon either as a sin or a sign of being a ‘bad’ woman. In today’s times, when women call themselves modern, they are not even open enough to discuss their concerns or desires about masturbation even when they are just in female company. We are the generation that talk about ABSOLUTELY ANYTHING.

But not this.

It’s almost like we are in a state of refusal to discuss female masturbation sensibly. We are on a mission to avoid the risk of all the women to discover their clitorises, drop what they’re doing and start furiously wanking in the nearest cupboard.

The other problem lies is with how do we talk about it, and the terms we use. In western countries, the discussion is on spicing up one’s sex life. It also talks about how to masturbate but not on how masturbation maybe interpreted within a relationship or the advantages to one’s health (emotional & physical). In India, women’s health in itself is a neglected aspect and revolves mostly around pregnancy issues but what about holistic women’s health and their sexuality?

There are many myths around the topic of masturbation. The biggest myth is, girls don’t masturbate. However, women DO masturbate. It is believed that women who masturbate have higher self-esteem than those who don’t. It’s directly related to being aware of one’s self and accepting your own body.

Few concerns revolving around masturbation –

• Will I hurt myself during masturbation? If you are careful, you won’t.
• Is it a sin? No.
• Masturbation does not cause any health issues.
• It is safe.
• It does not cause any pregnancy for men or women.

Few benefits of masturbation are –

• Reduces stress
• Better sleep
• It’s an instant mood enhancer
• Relieves menstrual pain
• Improves blood flow
• Enhances self-esteem
• It helps you to discover yourself
• Masturbation also helps in communicating better about your likes and dislikes to your partner
• With enough practice one will be able to coordinate pleasure with their partner’s pleasure and make sex better for both of them

Responsibility with masturbation:-

• It’s a private affair. It’s either by yourself or with your sexual partner.
• Hygiene – Make sure your hands or the items you use for masturbation are clean. Wash your hands and genitals before and after masturbation.
• Be careful not to hurt yourself.
• Be sure that the vagina is lubricated before you insert anything for stimulation.
• A woman can decide the number of times she wants to masturbate in a day. But anything in excess is not good and so is the same for masturbation. If it distracts you all the time and becomes a compulsion, please see an expert.
• Educate yourself before you indulge.

Most women feel a mixture of guilt, shame, embarrassment, and anxiety because our society isn’t very accepting of female masturbation. When I suggest women that they start exploring their bodies, they are reluctant.

Think, “Where did these feelings about masturbation come from?” and “Do I want to let these beliefs continue to operate in my life?”

Never feel guilty, never need a reason. Be yourself and accept yourself.

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