Vidya Menon, narrates a story of this one time when she meets a woman in a park who tells Vidya the story of her son’s death. The lady’s son dies in a road accident while returning with a friend’s parents along with a few other children as the car meets with an accident. Her son was the only one to meet the tragic end. The lady was distributing sweets as it was her dead son’s birthday. Read the full article here.

Here, Vidya describes the ordeal of the lady after her son dies, the response of the people around and how courageously that lady tackled her grief.

The relatives, and the so called ‘well wishers’, who came to ‘share’ the grief, instead, burdened us with more sorrows. Some said we shouldn’t have sent him, some said- “That is why we suggested that you have two kids”, some said we should send that man (Her son’s friend’s father) who was driving the car, to jail. At that time I was in shock, I didn’t say anything. My husband and I refused to do the 13 day ritual; we just held a prayer meeting after a couple of days”.

The husband, wife and their kids, who had taken my son for the birthday party, they also attended the prayer meeting. I saw the kids, both had cast in their hands, the wife had a bandage on her head, her cheeks had marks of glass, and the husband also had fractured his hand and sustained a head injury. They came filled with guilt, hugged us and just cried with us, and the guy said, “Please punish me, I am the one who is responsible.” But, my husband told him that it was not his fault, it was a tragedy, and it could have happened to anyone.

How could he have possibly avoided a drunken truck driver? He had followed the rules, and it was tragic and unfortunate that our child succumbed to the injuries in that awful accident, as a Mother could I wish for a moment that it could have been someone else? I couldn’t have, and we told them, we nursed no grudges, and we know how much they loved Arjun. A month later, I finally chose to answer all the so called well wishers, by saying what happened was tragic and tragedy does not knock before it strikes. To answer those who said I should have had two kids, I had one question, would the grief of losing my child would have been any less? To the people who said that if God wishes then I could have a child soon by next year, I said that I was not a child producing machine.

I lost a child, not a toy that I could replace, and I politely asked them to leave. I was bombarded with suggestions to join a school, join an NGO to ‘divert’ my mind. To them I said, I lost a precious life, am not looking at diverting my mind off it, I want to accept it and live with it. I gave 7 years of emotions, 7 years of physical and mental energy in bringing up my boy. I do not and will not have the energy anymore”.

She told me, that she had not talked about it in lengths with anyone, and I was possibly the first, with whom she re-collected and re-called the incident, while I was fighting tears, she thanked me for listening patiently. That was exactly the time, when my son ran to me for something, and I told her that’s my son, and he is 8. She gave him some candies, and gave him a tight hug. I hugged her and gave her my number. I told her that I admire her for her courage. She smiled and said, everyone has the strength to surpass obstacles. We realize it when we are faced with one. It’s been 5 years since the tragedy.

Can any mother get over her child’s death? Does it matter then that she has more than one children? Does that reduce her grief even a bit? It does not!

What did Vidya do after that? What were her thoughts? Stay tuned for the next part of her story!