O Womaniya you are unique and an individual!

So yes, you are playing multiple roles which means you are a daughter, a wife, a mother, a daughter in-law, an aunt and the list goes on. A woman is born and brought up in a family and marriage takes her to another household which functions on a very different value system and rituals. And in no time you shed away your past life because you have been conditioned to be that ideal wife who follows the traditions and systems of her new household. You start wearing your husband’s favourite colours, following all customs passed on to you by your in-laws, cooking food as per your new family’s taste buds and before you can adjust to this changed world, you have become a mother.

All of a sudden you stop focusing on your individual life and needs because you have your children to look after and they become the reason of your existence and hence all that you start doing is only for them! So is this all wrong? Am I trying to tell you all married women that doing all this is not right? NO!

But take a deep breath and think what happens next? You have completely changed as a person and your life is only for your family. But now is the time when you realize that your children who took away your 24 hours have grown up and no longer need your constant companionship and care. In the tough years of parenting when your family took away all your time, you forgot to keep in touch with your friends and now when you want your friends, you realize that they have moved ahead in life and the intimacy is missing due to long years of gap. You always aimed at being the superwoman and hence never paid attention to investing in any hobbies like reading or painting or working part time! People for whom you forgot yourself are busy in their lives and yes it is at this age when your mid-life crisis starts! So now think who is responsible for this lonely feeling where you feel depressed with your own self? Only YOU are responsible.

So while doing whatever it takes to make sure that you give the best to your family do not forget

yourself. Be kind to yourself and pay attention to your body and personal needs.

Try not to compromise with your individuality. In the process of making everyone around happy, do not forget your source of happiness. Your source of happiness can be your favourite dress, reading, sitting in a café, going out with friends, visiting a spa, watching movies, dancing in the rain, painting, baking, designing, computer, visiting parents, talking nonstop with your best friend and so on. But the most common trap in which all women fall is called “guilt”. Please consciously try and spend some quality time with yourself by doing something you love at least once a week without feeling guilty. Share your workload with everyone in the family and make everybody responsible for various tasks. You are an individual and not a machine or a superwoman. Do not push yourself to be that! By doing what you love once a week you are consciously building a strong relationship with your own self and this leads to a stronger you who does not need anyone to be happy. Believe me by doing this you will never ever feel lonely in your life and you will enjoy your own company. Never get out of touch with your friends as they are going to prove to be a strong support system in your mid-life crisis. So yes be with your husband’s friends but take some time out for your own friends with whom you have shared your whole life and maybe some of the best years of your life namely school and college.

So you are unique and beautiful! Do not fall in the trap where at some point in time when you stare back at yourself in the mirror you see some stranger’s reflection and it’s too late to find yourself! Take charge! Be yourself! Love yourself!Keep rocking O Womaniya!

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