Rajeshwari Sharma, an Indian origin immigrant to Australia recently got her daughter Sandhya married to an Australian named Sam. There was one more thing that was special in this wedding, Rajeshwari did the “Kanyadaan” of her daughter which is a ritual that is traditionally done by the father of the daughter. The pictures from this wedding instantly became viral on social media, appreciating Rajeshwari’s spirit.

The big fat Indian weddings are not just joyous and pompous occasions but they are also reminders of the patriarchal culture and are discriminatory that descends from one generation to other and practiced blindly without any questioning under the pretext of culture.

Our religion and culture implies that a single mother cannot marry off her daughter by herself – the patriarch (mostly the father) needs to be present. As a result, single mothers usually play little or no part in their children’s weddings, and next to the close elder kins end up performing the wedding. Although, the culture of Kanyadaan itself is patriarchal in nature where the daughter’s family “gives away” the daughter to another family as the bahu of the house.

Rajeshwari hailing from a conservative Tamil Brahmin family, got married early in life at the age of 21 and moved to Australia along with her husband. Her husband was 12 years older than her and initially it was difficult for her to settle in her new surroundings in a new country. With her husband’s encouragement and support, she pursued education in the field of IT and grabbed a job at IBM.

But Rajeshwari’s marriage was not going all well. With two children to take care of, a full-time job and a husband who wasn’t an active part of the family, Rajeshwari had to struggle hard to find her footing. After almost 17 years of marriage, Rajeshwari and her husband mutually decided to part ways. “Since he wasn’t a major part of my children’s lives, it was not very difficult for them to adjust. My family, in that regard, although very concerned, was very supportive,” she adds.

To make sure that her challenging the traditions won’t come in way of Sandhya’s wedding, Rajeshwari met with a young Hindu priest named Raghavan, who was understanding and agreed with Rajeshwari’s idea.

The wedding took place in Chennai, with Sam wearing a traditional veshti and tying the thaali around Sandhya’s neck. “The priest also made him recite a few mantras,” Rajeshwari laughs.

“We loved the meaning behind certain wedding rituals,” explains Sandhya. “That is why we decided to get married in the traditional Hindu way and not have another wedding in Australia.”

However, they didn’t stick to the usual practices. “I very much wanted to be a part of my daughter’s wedding and so I decided to be the one who had to give her away in marriage,” says Rajeshwari.

Here is the note that Varun Suresh wrote along with sharing astounding photos from Sandhya and Sam’s wedding –

“People always plan for textbook weddings. A one in which there is no compromise. But, in their tryst to uphold tradition they let go human emotions or values. They also have made us think it’s okay to let go of our emotions to uphold tradition.

A lot of children are raised by single parents. Only two hands make a noise, but a single parent toils hard to go about life emotionally and financially, to make ends meet and beyond. Their ultimate purpose of existence is to see their children get married. Its that social recognition, they work towards and prepare for.

A single parent is considered inauspicious, especially if it is a single mother. They aren’t allowed to precede a wedding but are reduced to mere spectators as another couple from the family takes their place. However noble it is of the couple, we all know who the most excited, nervous, satisfied and praying soul in the whole situation is. I wonder how a genuine heart always comes second to tradition and rituals.

Traditions and rituals were merely a box drawn around us, so that we maintain uniformity and discipline. Sometimes altering practices or making it flexible, touches more lives.

So when I saw this picture taken by photographer, Varun Suresh’s and featured on his blog HERE

I was gushing with joy. This picture tells you a lot of stories. How forward the world is, how precious human emotions are.

Life and destiny are not always pleasant, but you can always choose to make it better for yourself and the people around you.

Rules don’t make life beautiful, people do ”