Jamshed V Rajan is a work-from-dad. He worked with companies such as Indian Express, Sify, Yahoo, Ibibo and Nimbuzz for 18 years before he took what some call ‘a drastic decision’ to spend time with his kids. And wife, of course.

Unfortunately, (or fortunately) the moment he decided to stay at home his wife got the elbow room she needed and took up a corporate job.

Now he is stuck at home with his kids, his work-from-home assignment, and tonnes of housework which he didn’t know existed.

Let’s find out what prompted ‘Jammy’ as he prefers to be called to become a stay-at-home dad and if he is repenting his decision.

You have been a stay-at-home dad for two years now. How and when did it all start?

 I think it wouldn’t be fair to take all the credit myself. It has taken me 40 years to become a stay-at-home dad. The process was started by my parents when they didn’t give me any special privileges over my sisters.

As ten year olds we were asked to wash our own dishes. Wash our clothes and iron our uniforms.

Mind you, this wasn’t as easy as it sounds today. Back then one had to soak the clothes in surf for half hour, then take them out, bang them on the bathroom floor for what seemed like eternity and then rinse them.

God save you if there were whites in the bucket, for then you had to mix some Robin Liquid blue in half a bucket of water and rinse your clothes yet again.

I am digressing. My apologies for the treatise on how to wash clothes before washing machines came in.

But honestly, I feel if it weren’t for the conditioning I received when I was young, I wouldn’t be a stay-at-home dad today and loving it.

So, why did you decide to become a stay-at-home dad?

 Two very important factors. First, the guilt of having killed my wife’s career. When we got married Rekha had been building e-learning modules at Cognizant and winning awards.

That’s when she had to give up an opportunity to work from USA, because the man she had married refused to go with her. My excuse: I am a ‘desi’ and will never live abroad. Three years after our marriage – in 2007 – we were pregnant with our first child.

We decided one parent should always be there for the kid. The decision was mutual, but again Rekha faced the full brunt. She had to quit her career.

When a woman is upset from inside, it is hard to miss it. But I managed to.

This time my excuse was: “Hey, I am working for an internet startup. One day we will be rich, but till then manage on your own.”

Nothing had changed till 2013, when our son Ritwik was born. He was immediately whisked away to the ICU and we couldn’t touch him for 4 days.

As a result, we couldn’t upload on Facebook a post which could have easily gotten us 500 plus likes: “Blessed with a baby boy. Mother and son doing fine. Weight: 3.2 Kgs”

Those four days taught me that I was chasing the wrong Gods. That I had to spend time where it mattered.

What was Rekha’s reaction to your suggestion?

 She didn’t take it kindly. This is how the conversation went:

“I want to spend more time with the kids. I am going to quit working for corporates.”

“And do what?”She shot back.

Her tone has a unique effect on me. Elders have said, “Practice makes one perfect.” Perhaps, this saying isn’t meant for husbands like me. For despite my practice, I couldn’t say anything coherent.

Chaining all the words I could think of, I said: “I can be Chetan Bhagat.”

“And write books?” She prodded further.

“Yes.” I stumbled.

“World can do with only one Chetan Bhagat!” She whispered with a smirk and walked away.

And then what happened?

 That’s when I realized that to become a stay-at-home dad we first needed financial stability.

There was no way Rekha was going to agree if it meant changing the lifestyle we were used to.

So, I thought of a brilliant idea to achieve two objectives with one stroke. Ritwik was now six months plus and Rekha had some free time.

In a month’s time Valentine’s day was approaching.

I built a travel website called Thebettervacation.com and gifted it to her on 14 Feb, 2015.

She didn’t speak to me for two days. I couldn’t understand. It was a very thoughtful gift.

No, it is not. So, when did you quit?

 The next three years we cut down everything and started saving.

Now we had enough to last two years without anything coming in. And that’s when I quit.

How did your friends and parents react?

 We are all used to the men going out of the house every day in the morning. It is so well entrenched in our minds that, to think otherwise is very difficult.

However, well educated we are. However much traveled we are, to think of the man as a house keeper is a deviation from the staple diet we have been fed.

Even my mother had reservations.

Many of my friends and colleagues thought it was a decision I was going to repent.

Do you regret becoming a stay-at-home dad?

 Not at all. In fact, I propose that ‘Huscription’ be introduced in India. ‘Huscription’ will be like conscription and will require every husband in the country to manage the house for at least two years.

The moment I decided to stay at home, Rekha stepped out to work. So it is a win-win for both of us. We aren’t changing it now.

Did you have starting trouble as a house husband?

I didn’t have any starting trouble. My wife did.

Rekha started off as a reluctant participant in this plan. She wasn’t confident that I will be able to manage home the way she did. In short, to her liking.

The whole day I used to get instructions on Whatsapp. In a few months’ time, I was trained. I had been domesticated.

Now when I message her, she doesn’t even bother to reply.

What challenges do you and your wife face explaining this to the world?

We don’t have any trouble explaining. However, our story does bring a smile on the listener’s face.

They have so many questions to ask, “So who handles the cooking?” “Who feeds the kids?” “Don’t the kids miss the mother?”

Just in case you are wondering, ‘no, the kids don’t miss their mother.’

How do you and your wife divide the responsibility?

 We don’t have clear responsibilities assigned, and that’s what makes this arrangement possible. We step in for each other all the time.

And sometimes, step on each other as well – which generates some anxious moments.

Like the instance, when both of us reached for our son’s PTM – without informing the other. Don’t know if his class teacher spotted the surprise on our faces when we spotted each other.

What is your take on paternity leave?

Paternity leave is good. But then 15 days hardly makes an impact. Paternal support should continue much beyond that. I know I have been guilty of this myself. But, the key is in being emotionally and physically available for the family more than what we are today.

As more and more women step out to join the corporate ranks, they are committing the same mistake men have been accused of for ages.

Irrespective of the gender, a corporate job today consumes a lot of the worker’s time. As a result, the family suffers.

What is your parenting advice to fathers?

 A dad is born much before the baby is born. This is so that by the time the baby comes, you are a grown up.

Don’t be like me – start early. Make time for your kids now!

Jamshed V Rajan now works from his home on his travel website.