Definition

Also called emotional or psychological abuse, it is a form of violence that affects the mind. Usually the abuser alters the abused person’s sense of reality in a manipulative way.

Avoiding, acknowledging and curing physical abuse is easier as compared to psychological abuse since one knows what is happening, one has signs and one can prevent it unlike mental abuse where you might not know if it is even happening with you leave alone curing and diagnosing the same.

What it’s not

Let us start by knowing what mental abuse is not since every negative emotional happening is not abuse. Break-ups. That is not abuse. You might feel negative emotionally but it is not abuse since staying in a relationship involuntarily might be abuse that you would bring upon yourself. Arguments are not abuse too. Speaking your mind is actually healthy for both yourself and the relationship since communication could solve problems way before they metastasis. Yelling too, does not fall under abuse, not up to an extent. Let’s further know about mental abuse to make it clearer.

Signs

According to the University of Michigan Health System, emotional or mental abuse may be occurring if “you are being treated in a way that makes you upset, ashamed or embarrassed.” Furthermore, your partner may say mean things to you, threaten you, insult you, put you down, and tell you that you make poor decisions, make you feel crazy, isolate you from friends or family, or ignore your feelings.

If you hear phrases like “You are idiotic”, “Nobody wants you and loves you”, “You are ugly”, “You will never be able to do that”, apart from obvious extremes like threats, isolation, punishments, etc. are abuse.

Sometimes, rather generally, the perpetrators themselves don’t know that they are being abusive. In fact, they might be aware of the fact that their feelings are mostly out of insecurity which is why they feel entitled to accuse them and their actions follow. All this to gain more control over their spouse, thinking it’s better for both of them.

Know that some people are more prone to mental health abuse than the rest. This has various factors behind the reason but never shy away from seeking help.

Solutions

Seek help. Know that self-care is not selfishness. Tell someone, go to a therapist, and file a complaint. If these seem over whelming to you, baby-steps is a solution but ignoring is never one.

Prevention is better than cure. If we teach children and youth about respect, consent and relationships, these problems would be destroyed from the roots itself. Knowledge is power. Let them know about healthy relationships, healthy boundaries and early signs of abusive tendencies and behaviors. Make people life smart and relationship smart instead of book smart. Talk to them about sexual health, mental health, and healthy relations like you do about physical health and most importantly destigmatizing asking and receiving help.