A marriage is a bond between two people but let us not forget that families on either side are involved as well. The immediate ones being your spouse’s parents i.e. your parents-in-law.

Building up a rapport and connecting with your in-laws will primarily help you understand your spouse’s upbringing better. You will also get to know the reasons behind their responses and decisions in life. Also, it will permit you build up a strong support system and loving bonds.

Know that you and your spouse are an extended family to each other’s parents. So you are all now one big family.

Here are some pointers to nurture your relationship with your in-laws –

1.Keep away stereotypes:– Don’t expect your in-laws to behave in a certain manner with you. Accept them. Love them. Keep away from imagining and creating expectations out of those.

2. Have a clean slate:- Don’t generalize basis of other’s experiences in their relationships. Don’t be biased. If your friend and her mother-in-law do not get along, the story is not the same everywhere. Allow yourself to know and understand your in-laws, as individuals.

3. Communicate:– Communication is like a road in any relationship. The more the potholes, the bumpier the ride. Taking your spouse’s parents as yours will help you relate better with them. When there seems to be some misunderstanding or an issue cropping up with your in-laws, discuss with your spouse and then your in-laws, to get a better understanding of their point of view. Also share what is your take on it. Ultimately will result in the two of you knowing each other better than before.

4. Spend time together:– Have your in-laws over for intermittent family get-togethers/ outings. Build memories. Also, your child will pick up the way parental relationships are nurtured.

5. Allow your child to bond:- The grandparent- grandchild relationship will give your child the warmth, sense of security and helps them open up. Let it be just between your child and in-laws. Do not allow your connection with in-laws influence that of your child’s.

6. Draw boundaries:- Issues, if any, however minor or serious, between the couple, should be sorted out between the two of you. Make it politely and respectfully clear to both set of parents to not intervene. Do not allow parental influence in decisions, following traditions and driving the family dynamics.

7. Respect, Courtesy and Love:– Respect them for what they are. Love them for they are your new parents and have also brought up your better half. They are doing the best known to them.

How I Kept My Marriage Alive!!! A Take on Rekindling Affection in Relationships

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